Yesterday was not a fun day. Both kids were dead tired from being up late from our marathon appointment at the ENT, so they were both extra whiney. Kylie cried over any little thing that happened. Walter threw a tantrum the entire day. And, I noticed that the antibiotic that we had was supposed to be refrigerated this whole time, so for the past 7 days I was giving Kylie inactive medicine. The stupid pharmacy put their label right over the storage instructions. I was SO MAD.

Getting ready for and waiting in the waiting room for Kylie's follow-up with our pediatrician was excruciatingly painful. We were the family in the corner with the 2 crying kids. Luckily, once we got into our exam room, the kids settled down. And I must say that I do love our pediatrician, or nurse practitioner or whatever. I kind of just fell apart and told her how I had no clue what I was doing or what I should be doing and how frustrated I was with all of the different doctors saying different things. I actually almost started crying because I have been so stressed out with this. And she just looked at me and said, "Well, this is what I am here for. You NEED to call ME when you have questions!" So we went over every concern that I had and now we have a game plan that I am comfortable with.

For the actual check-up, Kylie was wheezing a little bit and still has a cough. I was worried that the Singulair wasn't working, but I guess it takes a month for it to be effective. So, we are continuing with the Singulair and also doing the Flovent, but just 1 puff twice a day. We need to get Kylie to stop wheezing so she can pass her Physician's Check to get her surgeries approved. I guess if she is having trouble breathing it can cause a complication with Kylie's lungs during the surgery, and knowing Kylie's luck it WOULD happen to us. And after taking a closer look at Kylie's ears, one of them is still infected, so we renewed her prescription for the antibiotic, and CVS filled it for free since it was their fault that I didn't see the storage instructions.

I feel so much better after talking to OUR pediatrician. I really am going to insist on seeing her and only her in the future!

After dinner, I took Kylie with me to the grocery store for a little Mommy-Kylie bonding. She saw Jell-O and asked if we could get some, so I did and promised her she could have it when we got home, for dessert. What harm could a little Jell-O cause? Well, around 10pm, Kylie wakes up and barfs over EVERYTHING. She even got it IN her pants (don't ask me how, but it was horrible). And I had to clean it because Darren was on a call for work. I don't do barf. Blech. Of course, as soon as she's bathed and falls back asleep, she barfs again! Poor girl. I really thing it was that Jell-O. We're wondering if she is allergic to gelatin?

And then there was the Walter-bear. I was telling Darren how guilty I felt for giving Kylie the Jell-O, and at that point we were wondering if there is egg in the gelatin? Anyways, I was feeling super guilty about poisoning our child and Darren tells me that he accidentally gave Walter a bite of a Milky Way. We don't think that there are peanuts in Milky Ways, BUT it is manufactured on equipment that may have contact with nuts. Hmmm. So around midnight, we hear this hoarse cough and a kid crying and we assume Kylie yakked again, but it ended up being Walter. Weird. He's never sounded like that again. So Darren starts feeling guilty and wondering if he poisoned Walter. But Walter also had thrown a HUGE fit when I was gone with Kylie so maybe he was just hoarse from that? We ended up bringing him into our bed and giving him some Benadryl just in case, and some milk to soothe his throat if it was just from crying. He slept in bed with me all night and was fine (Darren was up working until 5:30AM!).

Both kids were fine today, though.

I feel like we have a little black cloud following over us.

Oh, and we got the results from Kylie's chest X-Ray and she passed! Her heart is back to normal size. They mentioned that there was something in the middle lobe (?) but it was something minor usually linked to coughing, and Kylie has definitely been coughing. So now we just need to schedule her surgeries and get the ball rolling with that.

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one.
"I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours." - Bob Dylan

two.
You let go, Its my turn now. I can accept that. but when I
find happiness dont you dare decide that you love me

three.
we all need something we consider worth
getting up in the morning for. whether it's real or not;
healthy or destructive; tangible or false is irrelevant.
when you've got nothing to hang onto,
deception can seem pretty inviting

four.
It grows cold.
Autumn's not the same without you.
The colors fade beautiful to lifeless.

five.
I find it easier to sit and stare than push my limbs out
towards you right there. My heart is bursting in your
perfect eyes. As blue as oceans and as pure as skies.

six.
You were one of those things that I looked
at just needed to have.

seven.
You may not always end up where you thought you'd be,
but you'll always end up where you're meant to be.

eight.
Its amazing that every time we would talk your eyes were only focused
on me not the people passing by.

nine.
Truth is, I really miss you. I wanna feel your heart beat when your
holding me feel your warm hand holding mine. Most of all though
I want to hear you say " I love you baby " one more time.

ten.
Road signs streetlights are what guide you on your way.
Distance doesn't seem to matter much
if you've got big dreams at a young age.

eleven.
Sometimes you have to test someone.
Not because you don't trust them,
but to see how much they'll sacrifice for you.
And sometimes you have to let them go;
not because you suddenly stopped loving them,
but to see if they love you enough to come back.

twelve.
I cry at weddings; hospitals make me nervous.
I'm sarcastic to a fault, but it doesn't matter.
I can be pretty mean; naive is my middle name.
and I want to believe in perfect love, but it all doesn't matter.
He thinks it's cute. :)

thirteen.
Because we couldn't see each other everday,
it made the times we spend a lot more special.

fourteen.
they say friendship is worth every penny,
but you, my friend, are worth every second of my life.

fifteen.
I fantasize about rejecting the apologies
that I know will never come.

sixteen.
She wanted to think that maybe, maybe this time it was going to happen. Maybe he was going to fall for her.

seventeen.
You know how it is,
when you don't want to miss them,
but you want them to miss you.

eighteen.
She's got this subtle beauty where she knows what you're thinking,
but she doesn't let you know she's got you figured out.

nineteen.
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."

twenty.
"If I got to choose someone to lose, I would never lose something like you."

so i leave for college august 23rd and i'm soo anxious/excited/scared all these things rolled into one! this is why i haven't been updating often, i'm trying to enjoy my last few weeks with as many people as possible :]





he's taught me how to love. he was the first boy i kissed that actually meant
something. he's not perfect, not even close. but that doesn't mean he's everything
i've ever wanted.




it's probably the wrong time to tell you this,
but i just want you to know that if you ever need me,
i'll always be here for you. all you have to do is ask.




Sometimes the feelings we start to have again
are the same feelings that never really went away.




"We didn't have to hate each other for getting older,
we just had to forgive ourselves for growing up" -The Wonder Years




don't ever part your lips just follow my lead,
and focus on the rhythm of my hips.
fingertips say more than i ever could.




That's the danger in starting a fire
you'll never know how many bridges you'll burn.




From the top of the world
We'll let them know
That your biggest fear is letting go.




a free lesson on growing up
make the best of their worst
and never compromise what you feel is right




use my name like you know me
you're all the same
keep running your mouth
mark my words were taking over the world.




You taste like self-destruction, I follow where I'm lead.




There's something about the look in your eyes
Something I noticed when the light was just right
It reminded me twice that I was alive
and it reminded me that you're so worth the fight




I swear, I'd burn the city down to show you the light.




the glittering people in this big world
say love can't come to such a young girl
but i know that real love is music
and he's the melody to my harmony.




we sat there, the four of us, music in our ears,
the bottles piling on the ground, thinking that these are our good days.
these are our days of remembering, and the green grass and the dark sky,
they are our home, we are all that anyone could ever need.

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On protests against her



There's been a die-in on Sunday off and on for the past five months, six months by now. Mostly, they've been there every day, but now it comes and goes. But they had about fifty people at the die-in. And what happens is they put it on the Internet, "come to Nancy Pelosi's house she's having tea for us"...and they get all kinds of people that they can't even answer for. It's not a safe thing. But anyway, I'm from the grassroots, I'm an activist myself so I respect that. But the impeachment...what are the facts, what is the reality and what can we pass, remembering that Democrats voted for that? What is the opportunity we have to get the information? What is the point if we're not going to win--in terms of instead saying, I am keeping my eye on the ball so that we win! Now it's not about politics, it's about policy. It's not just about winning. It's about winning for the purpose of setting this country right...this is like a hundred years ago...the Gilded Age and everything that went with that in terms of unfairness to working families. I think there is that much at risk.

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The best top 10 >>> full house