I am weak, I admit it. I am simply not strong enough to tolerate the celebration of HopeandChange for 16 hours a day. I cant help it. My brain is hurting from the amount of slavering Im hearing from various news anchors and pundits on every single network. This would be an excellent week to invade a country or pass a controversial law, because there is no other news taking place. Cmon - invade Canada! No one will notice, I promise!
I tried to make a drinking game out of how many times I heard the words or , but I eventually had to be rushed to the emergency room to have my stomach pumped and my liver rehydrated. There is no way I can make it all the way through to the coronation tomorrow night.
Cant we talk about something else, even for a few moments? Cmon, surely we can come up with five minutes of news that doesnt involve King Obama and the Obamettes? How about the war? Is it on hold for the duration of the DNC? Has anyone checked in on Bob Novack lately - he also has a brain tumor, you know.  Or, what are your plans for Labor Day Weekend? Anything, please! Spare me the Obamanation.

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The Alternative Theater Company will hold an open audition for Dirty Secrets on July 29 at 7pm. Scheduled auditions will be held on July 28 at 7pm. To schedule an audition, contact Joe Marshall. Needed: Three Strong Male Actors (ages: 18-55). Roles: Nick: 18-21, Shane: 25-35, Tom: 40-55. Performances at: Temple of Music and Art Cabaret Theatre 330 S. Scott Avenue, Downtown Tucson. Show Dates: September 5 and 6, 12 and 13, at 8 pm. September 7 and 14, at 2 pm.

All actors will be paid a stipend on closing night. Review: Marshall's script is bursting with red herrings: As soon as we've named our hero, he reveals himself as a scoundrel, and we're back to square one, waiting for one of these tormented lovers to turn up a winner. Every one of these men is a sick ticket." Phoenix New Times

Synopsis: Dirty Secrets is a smart, gender-bent thriller that pokes fun at brainless gay stereotypes. Right from the opening scene you know you're watching a play about homosexuals. Instead of boring us with platitudes about the evils of pigeonholing people, the characters skewer stereotypes by spouting spout earnest lines like, "You don't act gay you're masculine!" It's all about Tom, who shows up at the home of Nick and Shane, a gay couple who live in Manhattan. Tom is depressed because he's just discovered that his lover of eight years has had sex with another man. He doesn't tell Nick the other man is Shane. It turns out that Tom has come to torture Shane, to seek retribution for his messed up romance. It's the ways in which Tom carries out his revenge first demanding sex with Shane, later seducing Nick that move the play along. He has a worthy opponent in the snaky Shane, who trumps Tom's attempts at blackmail, but can't keep up with his nasty houseguest's vile temper.

For More Information Contact Joe Marshall, (520) 883-8246, altrcompany@aol.

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